Corky the Dog Slut

Noreen, a long-ago best friend, adopted a cute, little, black curly-haired female cockipoo dog who had been cruelly abandoned and dropped off near her Burton, MI apartment shortly before Christmas, 1975.

She named the dog “Corky Christmas Found” and the name was almost bigger than the dog. Corky and Noreen mutually adored each other from the very beginning.

Noreen put a “found dog” ad in the local paper but no one called about Corky so after a couple of weeks, Noreen was glad to finally claim Corky as her own.

Noreen took Corky with her everywhere but she soon found out that Corky did have a couple of quirks.

She discovered that the car windows had to be most of the way up at all times or else Corky would suddenly leap out if she saw a dog she wanted to make friends with or a park that Corky wanted to immediately explore.

Corky gave Noreen panic attacks the two times Corky did those spontaneous leaps out of the car windows and luckily for Corky, both times Noreen had been idling at a red light.

But Corky still gave Noreen great exercise by leading her on a merry chase on both of those escapes. So Noreen then kept Corky on a leash inside the car with the windows still rolled up most of the way.

Corky’s other quirk was that she liked to, ahem, make “friends” with other male dogs. A lot and as often as she could.

To speak frankly, Corky was a dog slut. She always managed to somehow escape from the enclosed back yard that Noreen had and we would often drive back to Noreen’s home and frequently see Corky in somebody’s yard nearby, or on the sidewalk, getting it on with any ole Tom, Dick or Hairy dog she could find.

One time Noreen told me that she was driving home from work and was appalled at seeing two of her more elderly, very dignified and sedate female neighbors standing on the sidewalk, blocked from proceeding further by the slutty antics of Corky and yet another male dog on the sidewalk in front of them.

The neighbors’ horrified expressions made Noreen turn her car around to make a rapid retreat and go to a nearby supermarket, thinking that perhaps when she finally went home, that the neighbors would be gone and Corky would be finished with her pleasure.

Noreen had taken Corky to the vet immediately after it became clear that nobody was going to claim her and the vet had guesstimated that Corky was almost 10 years old, a lot older than me and Noreen had believed.

She had had litters of puppies before but the vet thought that she was probably too old to have any more. Noreen and I thought that meant that Corky had gone through a kind of doggie menopause.

We were surprised to then find out how very sexually active Corky still was but not too surprised when after 6 months of many slutty moments, Corky came up pregnant.

After Corky had successfully weaned her last litter of puppies (my mom adopted one of the puppies and called him Caesar), Noreen had her spayed just in case the vet was wrong about her actual age.

Everybody expected, and hoped, that having Corky spayed would keep her from committing more of those oh-so-embarrassing slutty moments of hers, and in a way it did, but in a way it didn’t.

Corky no longer was interested in making any more “friends” of the male kind of her species but she proved she was still very interested in sexual matters, even if she had to enjoy them in new ways.

Noreen’s boyfriend, Ed Holland, had just moved into Noreen’s newly purchased little house on Winona Street in Flint, MI. Later that night, as they were “celebrating” this new phase of their relationship, Corky decided to try and become a part of this new togetherness.

Corky nosed opened up one side of the sliding doors of their bedroom closet and brought out one of Noreen’s very fluffy slippers. Corky then propped up the slipper with her front paws, slid it backwards between her back legs, and proceeded to enjoy herself in rhythm with Noreen and Ed’s enjoyment.

This caused Noreen and Ed much amusement at first but Ed later said that it became very distracting because Corky would correspondingly speed up or slow down while loudly panting right along with them and Ed said it was like having somebody else in their bedroom watching and judging their love-making style.

So Corky was banished from their bedroom on the nights that Ed and Noreen felt frisky. But somehow Corky always seemed to sense when those times would be in advance because Noreen always found that slipper, now permanently given to Corky, somewhere near their bedroom beforehand. Corky was always ready to enjoy those frisky moments in her own special way.

Noreen’s sister, Barb, had become recently engaged so Noreen hosted a small bridal shower for her at her little house. Noreen invited their mother, several elderly aunts and cousins, as well as my mother to attend.

On the evening of the shower, everybody was in the living room, chatting and snacking on several platters of cheeses and crackers and punch while Noreen and I put the finishing touches on the main appetizers and the dessert in the kitchen.

We could hear Noreen’s mother explain to the aunts and cousins that this was Corky, Noreen and Ed’s little dog, so we knew that Corky had joined the festivities.

We heard the women oohing and aahing and cooing over Corky, petting her and praising her until she began to bark a little and pant a little from all of the loving attention.

Then we heard Noreen’s mom say to Corky, “Oh, how cute! Corky brought out her toy to play with!” I looked at Noreen and raised my eyebrows at her, because I was wondering exactly which toy Corky had brought out, but Noreen was too busy with the dessert to pay much attention to what I was doing.

A few minutes later, we heard Noreen’s sister say, “Oh look, she’s wrestling with her toy! Isn’t Corky so cute? Wait…wait…I don’t think she’s….Noreen! No-reeeen!! Oh my God, get your awful dog out of here, Noreen!!” And we then heard the gasps and the horrified exclamations from the other women.

Noreen looked up, panic-stricken, and hurriedly begged me to go in there, grab Corky and her slipper and lock her in the bedroom. But I politely declined to do that honor on the grounds that it was Noreen’s dog and no way was I going to touch that disgusting slipper!

So Noreen quickly ran into the living room as I peeked around the corner. The scene was just as I had imagined: all of these older women, including my mother, were sitting around the living room in a small circle, holding plates of cheese and crackers, paused, frozen in horrified yet fascinated disbelief, as they stared at Corky in the middle of their circle having a wonderfully sexually-frenzied time with her slipper.

Noreen swiftly grabbed Corky and the slipper in one fell swoop, muttered apologies under her breath as she ran and shoved Corky into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I retreated back into the kitchen, stuck my head into the freezer with my hand over my mouth, trying desperately to keep the giggles and laughter from spilling out.

Noreen walked back into the kitchen and I turned around, closed the freezer door, and silently attempted to continue helping Noreen with the rest of the appetizers and the dessert.

We made the mistake though of making eye contact once and we both burst out laughing so hard and loud that we had to quickly grab our cigarettes and escape out through the patio door just off the kitchen.

We stayed out there for 10 minutes, trying to catch our breaths from laughing so hard at the sight of Corky, who was just trying to be helpful by entertaining the guests. But we would start laughing hard again until tears fell down when we recalled the disgusted or horrified expressions on certain guests’ faces as they witnessed Corky’s antics.

Apparently we were out there so long laughing, that Noreen’s mom had to drag us back in with angry whispered comments about the whole unseemly conduct of Noreen, me, and Noreen’s dog and how those elderly aunties will talk and talk about all of this to the rest of the family. Noreen and I were dutifully abashed and apologetic but we still couldn’t stifle several of our remaining giggles and Noreen’s mom had to give us her best stern glares .

Noreen and I never figured out what exactly had made Corky so horny at such a particularly crucial moment. We never knew if it was the massive amounts of praise and cooing from Noreen’s relatives that got her so excited or if something else had triggered Corky’s lust and exhibitionistic behavior.

But the one thing we both agreed on was that we had never before known such a joyfully slutty dog like Corky, who so enjoyed her own pleasure that she always wanted to share it with everyone!

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