The Fish that Goosed the Duck

“Goosing” someone means to lightly pinch or pat somebody’s butt. Goosing is usually done between humans but in this instance it happened between two different species.

About four or five miles east of our home in Flushing Township (Michigan) on Coldwater Road is the Mt. Morris Township Municipal Center near Clio Road. That is where their police, fire and township offices were all located.

In the middle of that small complex was a pond with a deck on one end. There were ducks living on the pond and fish of all sizes and kinds living in the pond.

My daughter, Tara, and I would occasionally drive there with a specially purchased loaf of bread to feed to the ducks. The fish also liked to gulp down the small pieces of bread that would float away from the ducks.

One time we noticed a particularly eager fish trying its hardest to get our attention so that it too could get us to throw it pieces of bread.

So Tara and I began trying to deliberately throw bread right at that fish but the numerous ducks didn’t like that. They began to surround that one fish, preventing it from getting the pieces of bread we were trying to throw to it.

Tara and I decided to “divide and conquer”. She began walking further down the end of the deck away from me, throwing many pieces of bread to the ducks as she went to draw them away.

When she had all of the ducks on her end, I began throwing bread to that particular fish. It only got two pieces of bread to eat before some of Tara’s ducks quickly figured out what was going on. Then three or four of her ducks rapidly paddled back towards me to surround that fish again.

I tried to hurriedly throw as many pieces of bread to that poor fish as I could but the ducks were much quicker at grabbing them than that fish was.

It became a frustrating effort for both me and that fish. I was now down to my last piece of bread and I tried very hard to throw it as close to the fish as I could but the biggest duck was able to swim to it and gobble it down before the fish could get it.

I was sadly watching that duck chomp on that last piece of bread when I saw that fish glide underwater right up underneath that duck’s rear end and then the fish jumped up as high as it could.

The startled duck went quah-quah-quah-quahccck!! I’d be startled too if a cold and wet fish nose had just tapped me on my butt.

Then the duck lifted itself part-way out of the water, wildly flapping its wings, and then half-flew and half-skimmed over the water to the other end of the pond.

I began laughing so hard, tears came to my eyes and I began to hiccup. Tara came running over to my end of the deck, wanting to know what had happened.

“Oh, wow, Tara, that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen a fish do! That fish we were trying to feed deliberately jumped out of the water right underneath that big duck’s butt! That fish just goosed the duck!!”

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