When my daughter, Tara, was in elementary school, she would come home with a Scholastic Library book order form every other month. These were relatively inexpensive paperbook books written for her age group and they were meant to encourage reading.
One book I ordered for her long ago had the hilarious title, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” And when Tara finally received her new book, it was just as hilarious as its title had been.
Anyways, Alexander had had one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong and in the most humorous of ways and consequences.
Tara and I both loved that book so much, that we began calling those kinds of days, “Alexander Days” so if she or I ever mentioned since then that we were having an “Alexander Day”, the other one would know that it was one of those days where too much was going wrong.
Today I’m having an “Alexander Day.” It has been a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.
Today is my 60th birthday. Now I am just a big kid in an old fart’s body and I will always enjoy celebrating my birthday, hopefully, up to the last one I ever have. Balloons, cake, whatever is done for me, I am a happy kid.
Tara has to work tonight as a karaoke D.J. at a little area bar and we had planned on her picking me up on her way to work and that I would spend the evening karaoking, having a few free birthday drinks, shooting the breeze and cracking jokes.
Unfortunately, I am sick with an upper respiratory infection. Because I have rheumatoid arthritis, which is a disease that compromises its victims’ immune system, I have to be very, very careful whenever I come down with any kind of illness because I can so easily and rapidly go downhill and end up in the hospital with a raging, out-of-control massive infection.
I started feeling kinda sniffy and sneezy a few days ago, but with my many allergies, it was hard to tell if those were kicking up a storm or if I was beginning to get sick with something worse. But I decided to go with the maybe it’s something worse and I stopped taking my R.A. medication as recommended by my rheumatologist and pharmacist.
Last night I began running a low-grade temperature and I woke up coughing and sneezing up copious amounts of gook and just generally feeling like a big diesel truck had run me over a hundred times.
So no birthday bash tonight, rats!
But the “Alexander” day was not through with me yet. My R.A. sometimes mean my fingers and hands don’t work quite right and I have already dropped and broken two juice glasses.
And of course I got a glass splinter while cleaning up the last broken glass and I discovered that I was out of Band-Aids.
Then after that, while I was petting my kitty-cat, Willow, who had sympathetically crawled into my lap and was licking my hand, I sneezed about 6 times in a row and I accidentally poked her in her eye with a finger. Now she’s understandably mad at me and she will not come near me.
After another prolonged sneezing attack, I also discovered that I am now out of Kleenexes so I’m using toilet paper. But I might be running dangerously low of that if I don’t get to a store by tomorrow.
Happy Birthday to me, sigh!
But the good news is that usually “Alexander” days only last one day so tomorrow things should be looking up, yay!
I hope so anyways 🙂